Annette McLean Counseling -
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Going with the Flow...
Goodbye Lola Bean...
We are all WIP's
Netflix's To the Bone: Helpful or Harmful?
The Hands That Feed Me

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Accepting what is..
Goodbye Lola Bean...
Hands That Feed Me
What if...
WIP
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Seeds of Inspiration

Going with the Flow...


 
What would it be like to stop resisting life and just allow it? I mean allow it all without a war in your mind or a plan or a witty comeback. Allow it without letting fear take over and control the show. Just. Let. It be. 
Renowned author, Michael Singer says inThe Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself,The truth is that most of life will unfold in accordance with forces far outside your control, regardless of what your mind says about it.”
I like Michael Singer but his words challenge me greatly.

Goodbye Lola Bean...

 Nothing seems to bring me to such raw emotion than saying goodbye to a pet. I don't know if it is the enormity of having to make the life vs. death decision to euthanize ( was it too soon, did I let her suffer too long, etc.) or if it is the fact that they love so completely and unconditionally.
Maybe it is guilt..."Could I, would I, should I have acted sooner, noticed the symptoms sooner, shut the screen door tighter and so on."
I know first hand that guilt complicates grief in significant ways.

We are all WIP's

I love to crochet. My mother taught me when I was around 11 years old. I started with Barbie clothes and worked my way up. Although, honestly, it would not be unlike me to crochet another Barbie dress. Anyhow, I digress. I am part of a Facebook board for crochet enthusiasts like myself. They are forever posting pictures of what they term their WIP. Initially, I was confounded and thought for a moment that WIP must be a fancy new stitch. But alas the light dawned: WIP=Work in Progress.
Ah, yes. I always have a few projects, art, crochet, books and otherwise that could be termed WIP.

Netflix's To the Bone: Helpful or Harmful?

Netflix's To the Bone: Helpful or harmful
Posted on Friday, July 07, 2017 8:35 AM
I just watched the trailer for the coming film, "To The Bone" about a teenage girl with anorexia nervosa. As an eating disorder specialist, I am more  concerned than encouraged about this movie. While we need to raise awareness about eating disorders, i fear the triggers will harm more than help. I am also aware that individuals with eating disorders, even restricting types like anorexia, come in all genders, colors, shapes and sizes. The lead actress, however, depicts, once again, the typical stereotype of a white, middle class anorexic female.Visual images of bones protruding and numbers being touted, (as in the trailer) are BIG triggers for those struggling with eating disorders. I also suspect that since this IS television, they are going to need to wrap it up within a certain amount of time and that leaves a potential to trivialize it. Eating disorders are LONG and ARDUOUS and emotionally PAINFUL illnesses. There is not much that is heartwarming, humorous, or easily fixed. I will reserve my full opinion until I watch the actual movie, but this morning, I am cautiously pessimistic.

The Hands That Feed Me

   Writing a book is like having a baby. First you have this little idea the size of a pumpkin seed. You realize it might be best not to tell everyone. After all, you may lose it. It is not yet viable. Better wait and see.
   Then you get to the middle stage and you realize it is kicking! It IS viable. It is alive! So you start telling people about it and you don't even feel so self-conscious about it any more.
   Finally, reality sinks in. You are actually having this baby.

Acceptance continued...


I really like this Rumi poem. It speaks so well to dealing with life on life's terms and rather than running from what life brings us, facing it square on, looking it in the eye without fear or malice. only then can we determine the best course of action. 

The Guest House 
This being human is a guest house. 
Every morning a new arrival. 
A joy, a depression, a meanness, 
some momentary awareness comes 
as an unexpected visitor. 
Welcome and entertain them all! 

"What if?"

What if you really thought that you were good enough? Because isn't not thinking that you are good enough just another way to postphone your life? What if you could finally know that you were worth the risk, worth the chance and open to all the wonderful possibilities, not just the "but,what if this bad thing happens or that horrible thing happens?" Seems our usual "what ifs" are once again, back to living in fear of not being approved of or good enough and so on. Helen Keller once said, "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold." Perhaps it is time after all, to take a chance, to be bold and to go after the life you have always deserved. 

"Why me?!"

Along the same lines as my last post about "fear", I have been thinking a lot about "suffering" in general. The Buddha understood that some suffering is just part of life. He said something to the effect of us experiencing in our lifetime, ten thousand joys and ten thousand sufferings. Jesus said it slightly differently, "In the world you shall have tribulation." But similar to when we experience fear, most of us prefer to run and hide or numb our selves in one addiction or another. Often times, we try to find a reason or something or someone to blame for our suffering. What if instead of asking why, we just accepted what we were feeling even if it was pain or hurt or saddness. If we were not stuck in the blocking or blaming and just felt what we were feeling, perhaps it would be easier to find our way to compassion, forgiveness and even joy. 

Future Events Appearing Real!

We talked in group tonight about fear. One of the women said she had heard fear described as "Future Events Appear Real". Wow, so true. What is it that makes us repeatedly hurl ourselves into an imagined and horrific future.  The Buddist teacher, Tara Brach said in a recent podcast (highly recommend her) that as humans we are hardwired for a certain amount of anxiety. That we all actually wake up about 10 times per night,(only the insomniacs remember it)and it is an old hard-wired survival mechanism.
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